A Bad Case of the Venomari
by MysticDragon21
Summary: When all the ninja have been poisoned by Venomari, Sensei and Lloyd included, it can only mean bad things... T to be safe.


It was a normal day in Ninjago-

"Sensei's beard is all flowy again, guys~!"

...Or, at least, it _was_a normal day until all the ninja got a dose of Venomari poison. Sensei and Lloyd included.

"OH GOD DRAGONS EVERYWHERE SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!-!-!-!" Cole screamed as he ran around in terror.

"DRAGON? WHERE?-!" Jay panicked and ran up the steps, only to trip and hit his face on the wooden floor.

Kai was chasing Lloyd, as he thought the boy was a gingerbread man and wanted to eat him, while Lloyd screamed about zombies disguised as his friends.

Zane, in his delirious state, was climbing up the mast to avoid the army of vegetables beneath him.

"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER, YEAH~" Jay practically screamed as he ballet danced across the deck.

Sensei was following Zane up the mast for a plate of cookies that probably wasn't there.

Kai stopped chasing Lloyd for a few seconds, then immediately breakdanced through the wall, dancing Thriller into the sudden nighttime.

Cole was still running around screaming like a little girl.  
Lloyd, realizing his 'zombie attacker' was gone, began doing his fail evil laugh. While running around in circles. And he didn't stop until 15 minutes later.

"What are you all doing?-!" Nya, who stepped out onto the deck, yelled. Everyone paused, stared at her for a second, and went back to whatever idiotic activity they were performing.

Sensei pulled waterballoons from hamerspace and promptly began pelting everyone with them.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS!" Zane, who was above Sensei on the mast, cackled madly as he kept climbing.

"IT'S RAINING WATER!" Cole wailed as he ran around in an attempt to avoid the water balloons.

Jay fistpumped. "My raindance worked!-!-!"

He was promptly tackled by Kai, who was now trying to eat him.

Nya, seeing the weird moment, tried to pry her brother off Jay. "Everyone's insane and my brother is a cannibal. Fantastic." She muttered under her breath.

Cole then grabbed Nya and began to waltz with her.

Jay instantly kicked Kai off of him and jumped up, glaring at the black ninja. "Get your hands off my girl." He said, somehow acquiring a southern accent.

Cole pushed Nya behind him and glared back at Jay, putting his hand on the shotgun that magically appeared on his hip.

Jay narrowed his eyes and pulled down his hat, which also magically appeared out of nowhere, and grabbed his own gun. Which, again, appeared out of nowhere.

The four ninja liked to abuse the Tornado of Creation in their spare time. They had a lot of extra stuff no one knew about.

Sensei pulled popcorn out of hammerspace and sat down on the crow's nest to watch. Zane reached out to grab some for himself, but his hand was promptly slapped and he resorted to pouting.

"Da da da da da~ Waaa waaa waaaaaaaaaa~" Lloyd, who had stopped laughing, sang to add to the moment.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" Nya spazzed.

Cole pulled out his gun at lightning speed, shooting at Jay.

But instead of a bullet...

...it was a rubber chicken.

Jay cackled madly and shot his gun. How a stuffed animal from build-a-bear managed to fit in that thing, the world may never know.

Cole ducked, making the stuffed animal hit Nya. In the face.

Kai was humming Don't Stop Believing in the background, nomming on a cookie.

"YOU STOLE MY COOKIES!" Sensei thundered, somehow teleporting to the ground and whacking Kai with his bamboo staff.

"ALIENS ARE INVADING! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" Jay screamed as he ran around wildly, flailing his arms around in the air like he just don't care~

"BE MY MEAT SHIELD!" Cole screamed, grabbing Jay and backing into a corner.

Lloyd ran over and hugged Cole, looking up at him with huge eyes. "Mommy?"

Nya promptly facepalmed.

"CANNONBALL!-!-!" Zane yelled as he jumped from the mast, landing right on Kai.

Kai had a spazz attack and flung Zane off him, sending the white ninja over the ship into the water.

Sensei watched his pupil fall. "Man overboard~" He sang.

Lloyd let go of Cole, grabbed a gray piece of plastic shaped like a triangle, and jumped into the water. Jay began to sing the theme to jaws.

Kai joined in happily before choking on Cole's chili. Why he was eating that is beyond me. But he was, and that's all that matters.

Zane, meanwhile, was screaming for his mommy as he desperately tried to climb back up onto the boat.

"RAWR!" Lloyd roared as he jumped out of the water and clung to the nindroid.

Cole and Sensei were having a catfight for no apparent reason.

Jay gasped as Zane and Lloyd fell back into the water. "Mayday! Mayday! Robot overboard!" He screamed and grabbed what he thought to be a life preserver in the water. It was actually an anchor.

Kai was now running around the deck, holding his arms out and making airplane noises.

"OH NO! I'M MELTING! I'M MEEELTIIIING!" Jay screamed in a panic as a few droplets of water splashed onto his face.

Nya sighed and grabbed the actual life preserver, throwing it over to Zane and Lloyd. The two commenced to rip it in half and swallow each piece whole.

Sensei shook a fist at them for not sharing.

Nya just stared.

Kai was now acting like Navi. "HEY! LISTEN! LOOK! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! HEY LOOK LISTEN! HEY LISTEN! HEY! HEY LOOK! LINK WATCH OUT! HEY! LOOK!"

Zane, who had somehow magically appeared back on the boat, put on a pair of nerd glasses. Which had also appeared out of nowhere. "I calculate the probability that you are attempting to replicate the annoying nature of Navi the fairy from the Legend of Zelda game Ocarina of Time is 92.8934890234890324178494678945%. Rounded up."

Cole was suddenly wearing Link's clothes.

"HEY LISTEN! HEY! HEY LOOK! LINK WATCH OUT-" Kai yelled before getting smacked in the face by a plastic sword.

Cole proceeded to chase Navi!Kai around the deck, making the standard attack noises Link used in Windwaker. "HUP, HUP, HAAAH!"

Lloyd also appeared up on the deck in a Shadow cosplay. Why? The world may never know.

"SHADOW IT'S YOU YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIIIIVE~!" Cole tackled Lloyd in a hug.

Nya officially gave up on the hope of ever having normal friends.

Sensei began singing "Still Alive" in the background. Zane sang along in a GLaDOS-like voice. 'Cuz apparently he can do that.

"MOMMY! STRANGER DANGER!" Lloyd cried out in fear as he began running from Cole.

Cole chased Lloyd. "COME BACK WE STILL NEED TO FIND RED AND BLUE AND VIOOOO!-!"

"GREEN~!" Jay, who was suddenly wearing a red-colored tunic, glomped Cole.

"REEEEED~!" Cole spazzed happily.

Zane, who was now in a Vio cosplay, looked up from a book he was reading. "Do you two really have to act so immature?"

"Who're you calling immature?" Kai, who was now cosplaying Blue, growled.

Somewhere in the realm of authors-

"Oh Din, this is turning into a Four Swords fic." One of the authoresses said, putting her face in her hands while she giggled madly. "I freaking love it."

"Make an Okami reference somewhere in here." A spectator who really shouldn't have been involved tapped her pencil against the arm of her chair. "Because hell with it _why not._"

"Before we do that, we need to go back to Ninjago insanity and not Four Swords insanity." A second authoress piped up. "This is starting to become Insert Epic Title Here."

"Hey," The first authoress shrugged. "Insert Epic Title Here was the whole reason this story has been created. Speaking of..."

Back on the ship-

Kai was hit in the face with a book titled " #$^ $ #%!%#$% %^%$ %$"

Back in the realm of authors-

"If you do that one more time, I swear I will erase this entire thing." The second authoress growled.

The other narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"...Screweth you." She retorted and began writing again.

On the ship-

"Who threw that?" Nya snapped, crossing her arms and giving all the other ninja a glare. Everyone stayed silent.

Cole was suddenly nomming a lollipop. For whatever retarded reason.

"I can has lollipop?" Lloyd gave the other ninja the dreaded puppy dog eyes.

"Mine." Cole crossed his arms, glaring at Lloyd.

Said little boy burst into tears.

"This has gotten way past annoying. One of you come tell me when that Venomari poison wears off." Nya sighed and retreated to her room.

Kai promptly started having a pie fight with Zane.

Jay, meanwhile, was dancing with a hat and cane. "Do you like waffles~?"

"Yeah, we like waffles!"

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yeah, we like pancakes!"

This was continued until the pie fight was over and the song was repeated about 16 times.

Sensei then stole the hat and cane from Jay and started dancing to "Spanish Flea".

Cole had taken over Lloyd's previous job of running around in circles and cackling madly.

From somewhere in her room, Nya was banging her head against the wall.

Jay pouted on the other side of the deck, mourning the loss of his hat and cane.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Sensei asked, peering inside an empty rum bottle.

Everyone on the deck pitched in to recreate the "Why is the Rum Gone?" song. Why they were all in a musical mood all of the sudden was beyond the authoresses.

The second authoress facepalmed because her Pirates of the Carribean reference was ruined.

Sensei went against the flow and began singing "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard". While dancing.

Kai started waving a jar of dirt around. "I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it~?"

He was promptly hit in the face with a cannonball from... ...somewhere.

Back in the realm of authors-

"Okay, do we even know what we're doing anymore?"

"Nope." The second authoress answered the first, casually twirling a lock of her hair around her finger.

The first authoress looked around the room awkwardly. "Should we end the madness now, or...?"

"Yeah, let's put them out of their misery. This has gone on long enough, anyway." The second snickered.

Back on the ship- (Scene transitions. Scene transitions everywhere.)

And then everyone went back to normal and went on with their normal lives. The end.

...Oh yeah. Cole was also slapped by Nya as soon as he saw her. But that was probably to be expected.

"What was that for?" He flailed.

"Everything."

* * *

**Mystic: ...so we wrote this at like 8 in the evening while eating nothing but a banana and some leftover pasta. ...what.**

**Desi: I had the banana! 8D**

**Mystic: *patpats Desi* Okay so. ...I wrote a Ninjago crackfic a couple days ago at like 3 in the morning. That, and TheGreatMikeyWeston's Insert Epic Title here was the reason for this thing.**

**Desi: I just read it the day before! This whole thing was my idea! 8D**

**Mystic: Yep. I don't think I would have made another (and posted it) if it weren't for Desi.**

**Desi: 'CUZ I'M SPECIAL~**

**Mystic: ...yes you are. XDDD**

**Desi: *starts singing* 'Cuz girl, you're amazin' just the way you are~**

**Mystic: *plugs ears because she got sick of that song ages ago* Desi and I do not own Ninjago, Pirates of the Carribean, Lord of the Rings, the waffle song, Spanish Flea, Four Swords, Insert Epic Title Here, Build-A-Bear, or anything else referenced in this crackfic. Oh, yeah. And Portal. And Ocarina of Time. And Skyward Sword. And Spongebob Squarepants. And- well, you get the idea.**

**Desi: ...And in conclusion, I would like to point out that I have no idea what the crap we just wrote. But flames will be used to start a fire that we will be able to say we didn't start 'cuz you started it. No, we didn't light it. We just tried to fight it- *shot***

**Mystic: *facepalm* This has got to be the longest Author's Note ever.**

**Desi: Achievement unlocked: Longest Author's Note ever**

**Mystic: …*sticks Mirror's Edge disc into Desi and starts playing* 8D**

**Desi: *dead***

**Mystic: ...well crap. *runs for the hills* YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS!**


End file.
